I have procrastinated my Seasonal Book post hard this year, my apologies. So instead of just being Winter books this is gonna be Winter/Spring combo and a double-long list. Hope the wait was worth it. All links are Amazon affiliate links, if you purchase through them I may get a small commission from the sale that helps the blog stay running. Books are listed from lightest to heaviest.
What are your favorite books of 2018 so far?
Before I had kids I always had a picture in my mind that looked exactly like one of the illustrations in my copy of Little Women. Marmie on her chair, the girls all around, as she read. I always knew we’d read aloud even after the kids could read themselves and it’s been a nice way for us to spend a little time together. And, let’s be honest, it lets me impose a little bit of my own taste on the kids, which is nice since I leave the rest of their reading completely in their hands.
Reading together has taught me a lot. Just because I remember something fondly doesn’t mean it holds up. And it’s hard to predict what my kids will like that’s also fun for me to read.
This list isn’t as diverse as I would like, but we have at least got a lot of gender parity. So that’s something. (I would love recommendations for middle grade readalouds from authors of color in the comments!) Presented in reverse order of how recently we’ve read them. Links are to Amazon, purchasing through them helps support the blog.
We’re always looking for new reads, so please share what’s worked for your kids (and for you!) in the comments. You can continue to follow along with our reading on my Goodreads Read Aloud shelf.
At first I thought there was no reason for me to write anything about our trip to Disney. There are so many resources out there with exhaustive amounts of information on Disney run by people who know the park far better than me. Those sites can help you with a lot of your logistics, but I wanted to write about actually getting through the trip with kids and with your sanity intact.
Our Disney trip was mostly for the kids (I’ve been plenty of times, they’d never been) but I also wanted to have a good time. I didn’t want us dissolving in meltdowns and tantrums, I wanted some quality family time. We were really successful so I thought I’d share some of what I learned along the way that is less about our specific plans and more about the kind of guiding principles to use while you plan to make your trip really enjoyable. Planning this kind of trip can feel overwhelming, especially with all the new bells and whistles, but you can do it and you can have fun.
Let’s take just a minute to be thankful for all the Disney websites.
That said, think about where you are on the scale of Disney obsession. If we make it a scale from 1 to 10 I’m at about a 6, with a long history of going to parks, family connections to them, and a lot of nostalgia. To run a Disney website, you’ve got to be at least a 9, which is not a bad thing. But it means you’ll have a different set of priorities and opinions. If you’re a 3 or a 4, where you’re really just there for the kids, you need to take a lot of what these sites say with a grain of salt.
Even the budget sites I looked at still recommended staying on property, even though you can find places to stay off site that are nicer rooms at half the price. Because for a 10 on the Disney Scale, being on property is almost always going to be worth it. So make sure you go into your reading and researching with an estimate of how many grains of salt you’ll need to add to what you read.
So let’s run through the parts of your trip that may be not so magical:
Now that we’ve run through that, let’s talk through how to manage it.
Ah yes, the old put your own oxygen mask on first rule. If your kids are going to have a good time, you need to be happy and comfortable. So think about the things you need for that!
For this trip I wanted a lot of convenience. It would be the kids’ first time to the park and my first time bringing kids. Going as an adult gives me a lot of flexibility and I knew there may be some unexpected issues with kids. I chose to stay on property because I wanted to simplify the experience, get all the perks, and see how they did. I hoped that taking some of the work off my shoulders would help me relax. This was pretty successful!
I also didn’t want to worry about money on this trip. I did all of that before we left. I started saving a year before our trip, which gave me time to make sure I had all our costs covered and then some. We didn’t do a dining plan, so I left for the park with money set aside for our meals and other purchases. I used my Simple card as I was saving to keep our “fun money” separate from our everyday budget. I connected my card to my MagicBand so I could leave my wallet and purse behind.
Even if we could have managed a Disney trip financially before now, I wouldn’t have gone because I know me. Stroller life is not my life. There was no way I’d set foot in the parks until both kids could manage the walking on their own.
I also know that I don’t like to be spontaneous but I do like to be flexible. I hate HATE spending time after a ride debating what to ride next. I had a basic itinerary for each day before we left and then each night we’d talk it through so we were all on the same page. We left plenty of room for changes, but mostly this helped us keep from walking back and forth across the park constantly. The kids are pretty good about letting me set an itinerary or letting me set out some options they can choose from. This worked well for us on site.
This is going to be a lot for any kid. It’s also going to be a lot of delayed gratification. There are a lot of things they would like to have where you will say no. Even if you spoil your kid at Disney, there will always be another thing they want around the corner.
Have a plan about what you’ll say yes to and talk about it with your kids in advance. The whole time we were planning this trip, I was also talking to the kids about how we were saving our money for Disney World, so when they wanted to go to the arcade or the trampoline place I’d remind them that our extra money was going to our trip. Before we went to Disney World I told them that they were able to pick out something within a specific price range. I also told them they could have one treat each day. For my kids it was a good balance of special treats and knowing in advance what they were going to get so they could plan accordingly.
Set a basic schedule and build in recharge times. We had a plan to make the first day the longest, with a short second day, and a late start with a lazy morning on day 3. We ended up sticking to it pretty well and we talked it through ahead of time.
Know whether your kids are able to effectively gauge their own level of energy. If they aren’t, you’ll need to keep tabs on them and look for signs of fatigue. Graham is great at speaking up for himself and each day he was able to let me know when he was done. But my kids are “let’s go to bed early tonight” kids when they’re tired, so I could trust them to make that decision. If your kids aren’t that type, you’ll need to keep your eyes on them and give them advance warnings of how much longer/how many more rides.
Know how you’re going to use discipline. We all need to use threats or rewards for good behavior, know what you want those to be. In the heat of the annoyed moment it’s easy to throw out a “Stop it or we’re all leaving right now,” and that’s fine if you’re actually willing to stick to it and everything that goes along with that. It may end up being worse for you than it is for your now-tantruming kid. For Tessa it was pretty easy: her birthday pin was her ticket to a free dessert at every meal and dessert is basically the thing she cares about most in the world. Getting to wear her birthday pin meant she had to keep whining to a minimum and it was a pretty effective incentive.
If your kid is eligible for a disability pass, make sure you’ve read up on it in advance and have a plan. For us it was about avoiding anxiety that can build up the longer we wait in line. Being able to do that waiting out of line made it much easier for Graham to get through the day and avoid a worry spiral. We still waited in shorter lines to help the kids work on their waiting skills. The first day we had to get used to planning around that built in wait time, but by the second day we were much better at it.
Single parent note: The park is not easy for single parents with more than one kid. It’s a tall order to ask another adult to come with you, but I would definitely consider it, especially for younger children. Kids under 7 cannot go on a ride alone, so if you have two kids under 7 it’s going to limit what you can do, especially if kids disagree on what they want to ride.
Look, I wish I could say you don’t have to research this trip. I wish I could say you can just wing it. But your kids are going to be overwhelmed and unpredictable and you need as much control over the situation as you can.
If you haven’t used the new app and FastPass system, I recommend reading up on it. It’s significantly harder to figure it out in the park than it is in advance. I don’t love this system, you shouldn’t have to be booking specific rides so early, but in the end it was one less thing to worry about when we were there. Even if you’re only booking those FastPasses the day before, I’d still recommend booking them ahead. By the time we could get more at around 4pm, all the good rides were booked for the day. For rides where you can’t use a FastPass but that have a long wait, try going right at the very beginning of the day, during parades when crowds go down, or in the evening when families with small kids have headed home.
Don’t take advice blindly. I did some crowdsourcing while I was planning because I was worried that I wasn’t ready for a visit with kids. I wanted wisdom from friends who went regularly. It turns out I took hardly anyone’s advice. Ultimately I realized that other people’s trip priorities aren’t mine, and we were definitely operating on different budgets. Other people’s “can’t live without” things were my “why would I do that?” things. It turns out that I was pretty darn ready. I just had to trust myself.
I knew food would be an issue for us since Graham is not a normal kids meal kid. I read every single menu for every single restaurant in every single park we visited and made notes in a Google doc to make sure my kid who won’t eat mac & cheese or hamburgers would have good options each day that also gave us adults food worth eating and would keep us within our budget. Did it take a long time? Yes. Did it pay off? Absolutely. It was much faster to check that google doc on my phone during the day than to pull up a bunch of different menus when we were hungry and hangry.
The My Disney Experience app was incredibly helpful for us. It did stall a couple times when we tried to do something extra like book a dinner reservation or order food in advance, but otherwise everything was really smooth and I used it constantly during the day. It kept me from having to remember things like fast passes and meal reservations, it helps you plan by showing wait times, and it comes in handy in a pinch if you’re looking for bathrooms nearby.
Don’t forget things to keep your kids happy outside the parks. We brought card games for evenings back in the hotel and plenty of activities for the airplane.
Make a packing list. If you’re going to be going without a rental car, you’ll be hard pressed to get anything you forget. I kept a memo on my phone that I added to for a few weeks before we left whenever I thought of something new. I knew exactly what I’d be putting in the small bag I’d take into the park (phone, extra battery, collapsible water bottle, mini sunscreen, TableTopics cards to use in line, snacks) and I even managed to get to Orlando WITHOUT FORGETTING TO PACK ANYTHING. It is an actual miracle. (I did forget to turn the heat off while we were gone, though. Perils of leaving home at 5 a.m. with kids.) If you do need stuff and don’t have a car, Orlando does have Amazon Prime Now service, we had several groceries delivered to our hotel.
First off, hooray for a next time! As a Disney lover I was hoping the kids would have a great time. And since they do well in situations where they are familiar with things and can think them through in advance, I knew that for any vacations the ideal spot is somewhere they have visited before. It’ll also give them the chance to have that pre-trip excitement when you know what’s coming. I checked in with them regularly to see how they felt, we talked through once again that this would mean saving our money to come back, and they agreed that it would be worth it.
For the kids everything worked out really well. But I struggled with the crowds, the food, the buses, etc. The kids didn’t enjoy the hotel experience so much that I feel like we have to repeat it. And the thing I wanted most during our trip was to get us all out of one small hotel room together. We’ll be staying off property next time. We can probably get a 3 bedroom house to rent for around half the price of our hotel. I’ll have to add the price of a rental car and on site parking, but the privacy and space will be well worth it and it’ll still be cheaper overall. It’ll give us easier access to off-site food and even the ability to cook in our own kitchen. It’ll be a longer drive in, but I’m not sure it’ll be that much longer since we won’t have to wait for an unpredictable bus.
Initially Graham wanted a longer trip. Ours was only 3 days in the park with some extra time on site before and after since our flight there was early in the morning and our flight out was late in the afternoon. But ultimately we were all beat after 3 days and agreed that we don’t need any more. Even though we never made it more than 8 hours in the park at a time. Every site I visited made it sound like anything less than 5 days wasn’t even worth the trip. (Again, those grains of salt.)
This trip my Mom was kind enough to come with us. I knew Graham would struggle with being alone on rides where only two riders could sit together. But now that he’s experienced and feels more confident, he won’t need the support on the next trip. Having an extra adult was great, we could split up for rides and end the day at different times. But it’s a huge ask to have someone join you on a vacation that’s on your schedule rather than theirs and comes at significant expense. For next year we may see if friends or family are interested in joining, but we’re not going to add more kids to the crew (I’m trying to diminish the chaos next time, remember?) and we’re going to plan as if we don’t get any additional companions so that we’re ready for that scenario. Plus, with car rentals included we’d all need to come and go at the same time which removes one of the major bonuses of having an extra adult.
I’d love to hear what you learned from planning a Disney World vacation, especially any tips to help us pick a vacation rental for next year! What did I leave out and how was your experience the same or different?
We paid for this trip and all the trappings out of our own pockets, no sponsorships here.
It was kind of a weird reading year for me. Usually by now my Best Of list has over 20 books on it and I have to pick and choose what I include. At first I only had 15 Best picks and 2 honorable mentions. But even though I spend basically all year marinating on the list, a few books called out to me all day and I realized that they should really be on this list and I sat down and redid just about everything below 10. 1-10 gets cemented pretty clearly in my brain but below that I was leaving out some great books. So here is my longer, better list.
Presented below in alphabetical order by title.
1-5
Exit West by Mohsin Hamid. A delicate and sure modern, surreal fable of immigration and the search for home.
Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay. One of the most affecting memoirs I’ve ever read, it’ll change the way you look at the world. Gay wants to show us what it is like to exist today as a fat woman.
Ill Will by Dan Chaon. An unsettling thriller that examines the perils of masculinity and obsession, with a side of Satanic Panic from the 80’s for extra fun.
A Kind of Freedom by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton. This is one of the big below-the-radar books this year that I want to tell everyone about. I almost missed it myself. A gripping story of optimism, class mobility, and loss through three generations of a New Orleans family.
Sing, Unburied Sing by Jesmyn Ward. Technically my #1 for this year, it was a pretty clear choice for me. This book is a mashup of The Odyssey and Toni Morrison that’s haunting and complex.
6-10
Amatka by Karin Tidbeck. Scandinavian bleakness meets surreal speculative fiction. This was my first novel by Tidbeck and it was inventive in a way I found incredibly exciting. I definitely need to read more of her.
The Fact of a Body: A Murder and a Memoir by Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich. Thanks to the publicist who sent me a hand-written card telling me exactly why I should read this book. I usually avoid true crime, but this one is affecting and heartwrenching.
The Hole by Hye-Young Pyun. My only real regret this year is not re-reading this sly, smart horror novel from Korea. It reminded me of Shirley Jackson in the way it crept up on me. Another under-the-radar read I recommend you track down.
Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie. Muslim, politics, and terrorism collide in this novel, which made me a little hesitant to read it, but it works so well. This isn’t a hot button issue thriller or a lofty theoretical analysis, but a story that’s rooted in everyday life and families.
White Tears by Hari Kunzru. A trip of a horror novel about hipsters, racism, appropriation, and music. This was one of the most exciting and bizarre books I read this year and that’s a huge compliment.
11-15
Chemistry by Weike Wang. This is one of those books that has spent months living in my head and growing there. At first it felt like it was keeping me at a distance, but eventually I got so close to the failed grad student at its center that I don’t think I’ll ever quite lose her.
Difficult Women by Roxane Gay. A powerful and affecting story collection that showcases Gay’s agility and her uncanny knack of making you feel seen and understood. I saw real experiences here I have never seen in a book before.
Marlena by Julie Buntin. If you enjoy books about obsessive teenage female friendships, this is one of the best ones I’ve read. But beware, the chills of the small town in Michigan where it’s set may get into your bones.
No One Can Pronounce My Name by Rakesh Satyal. This book makes me smile whenever I think of it. While it certainly belongs in the larger category of immigrant stories, these are the stories of the immigrants who don’t fit into their communities and how they find their identity.
The Refugees by Viet Thanh Nguyen. A moving and affecting story collection that’s a strong follow-up to Nguyen’s debut, The Sympathizer, one of my favorite books of 2016.
16-20
Everything Belongs to Us by Yoojin Grace Wuertz. How class affects the friendship of a group of college students. Set in the social and political upheaval of 1970’s South Korea.
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. The big YA book of the year is also worth the buzz. I was skeptical after hearing all the accolades but it measures up. It’s a book teens (and plenty of adults) should read.
Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds. A one-sitting YA novel written in verse about family, poverty, and cycles of violence that never feels preachy and packs a big punch.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. A last minute addition thanks to a few late recommendations. A bubble bath of a book about old Hollywood that’s an excellent treat yourself read.
The Wanderers by Meg Howrey. The astronauts for the first mission to Mars embark on a 17-month training mission. It’s a novel about scientists, something I love, and a novel about what it’s like to be in a family with someone who’s always willing to leave you behind for Outer Space.
Honorable Mentions
Borne by Jeff Vandermeer.
Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado.
Human Acts by Han Kang.
Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert.
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee.
I have spent a lot of the year feeling like I didn’t have as many best books as usual, but when I made this list I realized that there have been books I left off that may not have hit me immediately upon reading them, but that snuck up on me and ended up getting lodged firmly in my brain. So it was better than I thought.
I meant to do a whole re-reading project this year but only made it a few books in. It’s hard for me to do anything prolonged. (Which may be why the 5th Patrick Melrose book has been sitting on my bed, untouched, for a few weeks.) But the first book I re-read was easily one of my best reading experiences this year. It was the new audio version of The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, a book I hadn’t read since it came out. I was worried the audio wouldn’t work because it’s such a dense book, turns out it’s better on audio, you finally get to feel the rhythm in the prose. My other biggest backlist standout was also audio (in fact, all of the backlist titles I’m mentioning here were audiobooks), True Grit by Charles Portis, which is a nearly perfect book with my new favorite first person narrator. I also caught up on a couple recent hits that I thought I would like but that it took me a while to get to: The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon, which is one of the most lovely and romantic YA novels I’ve ever read, and The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson, which made me concentrate pretty hard, but also made me think a lot about art and gender and parenthood.
There were easily 20 more new releases this year I could recommend without reservation. Little Fires Everywhere! This Is Just My Face! The Birdwatcher! And I wasn’t great at keeping up with releases this year, but you can always follow me on Goodreads to stay up to date on what I’m reading.
How did your year in reading go?
It seems like this year I’m seeing more people than usual who won’t be going home for Thanksgiving and won’t have all the trappings of the holiday in their life. I realized that I’m in a unique position to offer some help! I am basically an expert at going solo on Thanksgiving, or at least not being at your normal Thanksgiving. My entire adult life, since when I would never get to come home in college since holiday break was just a couple weeks later, I have had way more non-Thanksgivings than actual Thanksgivings.
I’ve gone to a few other people’s Thanksgivings, I’ve done Friendsgiving, and all that. But I’ve also done none of these things and I am here to tell you that this is actually a pretty solid way to spend the day.
Here’s a few tips to help you with your solo Thanksgiving.
This is the most important thing you need to remember. As the holiday gets closer you’re going to get sucked in to this nationwide narrative that Thanksgiving is this perfect day. Everyone is going to their family. Everyone will have a perfectly cooked meal. Everyone will eat and enjoy each other’s company. Everyone will eat pie. All of this is, honestly, bullshit.
Thanksgiving is stressful. It’s hot and crowded. There’s like 85 hours of football games playing on tv all day long. And in our current day and age there’s even bargain shopping on Thanksgiving.
People who go home for Thanksgiving are traveling during the busiest travel days of the year. They are grumpy and annoyed. They are tired and frustrated.
People who go home for Thanksgiving are in small quarters surrounded by their families. People they tolerate for a few days a year and guess what! Today is one of those days! People get anxious. They try not to fight. They also sometimes just fight. Think of all the people writing in to advice columns this very moment because they are concerned about what’s going to happen with their family next week.
You have a pass from all that. You do not have to be around people you don’t really enjoy being around! You don’t have to try to maintain a conversation while a very loud football game plays in the background! You don’t have to be in charge of a complicated dish in a hot, crowded kitchen.
You, my friend, are free.
There’s basically two elements to Thanksgiving: family and food. We’ve discussed the first part, now on to the second major element.
Missing food you only get once a year does suck! Let yourself mourn that. But you also do not actually have to miss all of it if you do not want to!
You can make the dish you love to make for Thanksgiving. You can also purchase pre-made versions nearly everywhere you look. (Grocery stores, to start with, especially the fancier ones.) You can have your own ridiculous Thanksgiving feast if that is what makes you happy.
A few years ago I would celebrate Thanksgiving by ordering the “Feast for Two” from the local Indian place. It was just expensive enough for me to never indulge in it normally, but it was basically 4 courses for $25 per person and we would eat it for DAYS. It was a perfect time to indulge.
You can also skip the food all together! I tend to eat whatever is laying around, but I also buy myself a pumpkin pie and eat a slice or two each day all week. It is my own pie and we have a very close bond by the time it is gone. I get to eat way more pie this way than I ever do when I go to “real” Thanksgiving.
If there has anything I have learned about being alone (without family, without my kids, without friends) generally and on holidays, it’s that I have the power to control how I deal with it.
If I decide to be mopey, I will be mopey. I can wallow in loneliness and self-pity. And I’ve absolutely done that a few times.
But I can also decide to make the day whatever I want it to be. (This same trick applies to pretty much any holiday, but it also applies to birthdays. I am an expert at being in charge of my own feelings on my birthday, which has been awful whenever I let other people celebrate it for me.) I don’t have the same solo Thanksgiving every year. Sometimes I decide I’m going to do a bunch of writing. Sometimes I go to the movies–twice!–and catch up on the new releases. Sometimes I just sit around all day reading and sleeping in and binge-watching television. Sometimes I do work, even.
The one trick is to make sure I’m deliberate about it. I decide what the day is going to be. I usually have some plans around how I will treat myself in simple ways. These don’t have to be things that cost money, it can just be letting yourself do a thing you don’t normally. Like a nap or a long bath. I know these things are coming so I look forward to them. It helps me set the mood for the day, helps me plan, helps me monitor my state of mind.
Sometimes it is active work keeping yourself happy on a solo holiday. Sometimes it’s easy. But you should definitely lay some groundwork. Think about what simple and wonderful things you can do for yourself.
Also keep in mind that even if you have an invitation to join someone for Thanksgiving, you do not have to go if you don’t think that’s your best way to spend the day. For me, sometimes it’s been good to have and other times I would rather be on my own. You are not obligated to attend someone’s Thanksgiving. You get to do what you want. (You can even skip your family’s Thanksgiving! You can do that! There may be some fallout, but still!)
I wish you luck in embarking on Thanksgiving alone. I’m really looking forward to mine. It’ll be nice and quiet. Me and a pumpkin pie.
