Before I had kids, I never would’ve imagined that I’d write about breastfeeding for the whole world to see. And that I’d do it repeatedly.
I also wouldn’t have imagined that I’d eventually breastfeed without any kind of cover in public on a regular basis. Who knew I’d be so open about my boobs?
But the thing is, I’m over breastfeeding.
I’m not stopping or anything. I’m just admitting that I’m not the mother-who-loves-to-nurse. I don’t find it to be the communal bonding session other people do. Instead it’s an easy way to save money, a useful thing my body can do, and great for someone like me who’s often too lazy to remember to feed her baby any solid food.
So I’m going to take a moment to complain about breastfeeding for a while. I feel like when discussing it we must resort to the kind of crunchy earth-mother speak that never comes naturally to me. Instead, I shall indulge one of my special talents: venting. And another one of my special talents, oversharing, which I’m sure goes without saying.
- Nursing pads. Hate them. Was going to write a review of them and could never summon the energy to say much. I had a really active let down for so long that I’ve just barely been able to stop wearing nursing pads in the last week or so.
- Nursing bras. They’re comfy and all, don’t get me wrong. Some of the comfiest bras you’ll ever wear, especially when your boobs are suddenly much larger than you know what to do with. But. I miss being able to go without a bra. Because with these things, support is required. I miss sleeping bra-less. I miss early morning pj time without wearing a very expensive sports bra under my shirt.
- Oh, and I feel like mentioning that despite their great increase I didn’t even get decent cleavage. Come on, boobs! That’s just not right!
- Every few weeks Tessa suddenly changes up her latch and causes me excruciating pain. After a while it’ll get better but then it happens again a few weeks later. We’re going through this again now. It sucks.
- She’s also doing this thing lately where she pushes her arms against me for leverage and then pulls herself back while chomping firmly down. OW OW OW. She does it a lot.
- She also forgets that it takes a minute or so for the milk to come in. She forgets despite the fact that it has ALWAYS been this way since she was BORN for EVERY feeding. Babies, man.
- I am ready to see what the damage is, just how they’ll change once they’re not filling up with milk every hour or two (Tesser is a frequent eater) and I’m ready to get my normal nipples back. They’ll change back to normal, right? RIGHT? Because right now it’s like it’s constantly chilly out.
Despite my complaints, I’m planning to keep going until we hit 12 months or so. I’m certainly not going to switch to formula now, especially with somebody still having 3 feedings a night. Bottles at night are the only thing worse than boobs at night. And I am WAY past pumping. Thankfully, I can now go several hours without pumping. Honestly, for something that’s supposed to be so wonderful, that’s spoken of which such reverence, it’s so often painful.
I have decided that my lack of sentimentality about breastfeeding isn’t a deficiency. It’s just how I am. Like how I bond with my babies more slowly over time as I get to know them. Or how I lack the patience to cloth diaper.
It’s okay. Of course it’s okay. I formula-fed my first baby, I’m more than able to deal with any breastfeeding guilt.
I hereby declare the comments on this post to be a judgment-free zone where you can post about the happy hormone magic of breastfeeding or where you can add your own complaints about bites, blisters, sagging, sleep or whatever else you’d like.