I enjoyed last week’s free writing post (and it seems like you guys did, too) so I was getting ready to do the same thing again this week. I even wrote one.
I did not post it.
Because I have a problem.
I am already an oversharer. And lately it has been harder blogging because I have so many things that are not blog appropriate. Divorce stuff. Navigating life single stuff. Money stuff. I feel like I should be able to share it all, but it’s just not the right time for a lot of it. And for some of it it’ll never be the right time. Some stuff just doesn’t belong out there, you know?
So I started free writing… and… um… it all just kind of came out. All the stuff that I’m holding back just ended up there in my little text box and I just could not hit publish and pretend it was all okay because it was a free write.
So sorry about that. I’m going to have to put a little more effort into my free writes than most people, I think, because the stuff that really wants to be said is exactly what I cannot say. Blast.
But I also HATE vaguebooking (aka writing overly vague stuff on Facebook) and vagueblogging is just as bad and I just did it to all of you. So I’m going to make a few simple but significant pronouncements just so you can feel like you’re up to date and I can feel like I don’t have to push all the things so deep down inside.
Thing one: work has me down to half time. It sucks. I am trying to figure out how to get by. And I am once again looking for work.
Thing two: money is, obviously, tight.
Thing three: divorce proceedings continue. A court date was had. I still don’t know how long it’s going to take to get everything settled, and I’m honestly worried about how new job arrangements are going to potentially mean everything changes and gets complicated.
Thing four: I am lonely a lot. With less work and the kids gone for a week at the beginning of the month, I felt like a hermit.
Thing five: I have started dating again. And that one isn’t going to get a whole lot more detail added on because that one fact alone probably means my Mom (hi, Mom!) is going to call me freaking out because it’s too early. (Save yourself the call, Mom. It’s time. I’m ready. It’s ok. I am a grown-up, no one is going to meet the kids, it’s really ok.)
So there you go. Feel better? My free write had way too much sharing about those topics. Now you get some reveals without me giving you far more information than any of us really needs.
It’s going to be tricky to navigate how to move forward from here and what to share. But I also don’t want to feel like it’s a great idea for me to not say anything when it takes so much effort to be quiet.
Still, for now, you’re going to have to be okay with mostly minor anecdotes on these subjects. Like how I was simultaneously proud of myself and aware of being seriously pitiful when I bought myself a stack of 11 Lean Cuisine meals because they only cost about $1.25 each if I got that many and that was going to be so great to give me a supply of cheap lunches but OMG now I’m the lady buying 11 Lean Cuisines and (even worse) now I’m the lady EATING 11 Lean Cuisines. See? Now that’s an overshare I think we can all be happy with.