A year ago at Graham’s IEP meeting, I was worried. He’d been in his pre-K class for 2 years and he’d made amazing progress there. I didn’t know what would happen when we put him in a classroom with more kids and more academics. Luckily they kept all his supports and I left feeling like it would be okay.
It was okay. All year he’s been comfortable and confident. But I’ve had a few nagging doubts in my head.
I won’t lie, I succumbed to a few autism myths after Graham’s diagnosis about the big brains inside these closed-off kids. I clung to lines in his reports that talked about him being “bright.” But I saw him struggle with numbers and letters and I let go of those thoughts. I learned a lot as Graham got older and one of them was that I need to accept Graham as himself. If he’s great in school, if he struggles, he’s still my kid and it’s who he is.
So this last month has been kind of a surprise. In Graham’s IEP this year, I heard that he’s at grade level in all subjects. They’re seeing signs that he’s good at math.
I was still a little worried about reading. Graham and I have started reading chapter books together and it’s been a lot of fun to get him excited about reading. He would take one of his Magic Treehouse books to bed to “read,” and then tell me 20 minutes later that he was finished. I knew that with 1st grade coming up I needed to keep better tabs on his reading, but he’s always been so private about it, so hesitant to sound out words, so easily aggravated.
I told him that we’d be adding a new thing to our evening reading time, where he would read a book to me. He hesitated. I told him we didn’t have to do it right away.
But then, yesterday, he asked to read to me. And this happened:
He read all of A Kiss for Little Bear with only the occasional question for words like “another” and “kissing.” There was a little trouble with “was” and “saw,” and I know he’s still prone to get things backwards, but I was floored. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
I try to remind myself that my kids are their own people, that there’s all this going on inside their heads that I’m not privy to, and that’s a good thing. But it’s really something when they take whatever they’ve been doing on their own and parade it in front of you without warning.
Is this post bragging? Probably.
But it’s strange to have dreams about what your kids will be like, to see them all come crashing down, and then for them to start showing up again. It’s a strange, strange thing.
I’ve watched other kids his age start reading this year and it hasn’t been painful, I have enough years of practice now that I’m better at not worrying about it and Graham isn’t so terribly far behind that he won’t catch up. But I’ve been aware of it, aware of his differences and his lag time. I wasn’t expecting him to surprise me so thoroughly.
I had a complete bursting-with-pride moment and bought him 3 new books (even though I’d just told him no new books at the book fair, that we need to save our money for other things). Last night I had him read to me from one of his new books and he wasn’t nearly as excited. I think he likes to have some time by himself to get things right. I’m working on trying to balance his inner perfectionist and still letting him learn to make mistakes.
Storytime in our house is a pretty great time right now.