Oh hi, blog.
I am not one of those people who apologizes for not blogging. And honestly, for the first two weeks I didn’t give it a second thought that I hadn’t blogged. But now we’re about to hit a month with no posts. In fact, if I scheduled this for Monday, the way I normally would, January would be my first month without blogging since 2007. More than EIGHT years I’ve blogged at least once every month. Not because it was a goal or a benchmark but because I always wanted to blog at least once every month.
It’s not that I didn’t want to blog in January. And yet I didn’t blog. And I kept wondering what was happening.
Then I realized. I have a word quota.
The thing that is different this month is that whenever I have time to write, I work on my novel. When my head is in that writing space where I’m feeling clear and quiet and ready to go, I work on my novel. And after I write my novel, I am done with words. Finished. Complete.
There’s the time factor, of course. My blogging frequency has been low as long as I’ve been in this single-working-parent thing. Time is precious and I am tired and I need to have my brain in a good place when I blog. Back in the day when I was at home with my kids, my blog was my escape and my outlet. I still see it as an important part of myself and I still value this space, but I don’t have the capacity these days to post often.
So yeah. I didn’t realize it was possible for me to run out of words. But I guess it is. I’m trying to get 1,500+ words every time I sit down at the novel. And sometimes it takes an hour and sometimes it takes 3 hours. And especially if I’ve been working for 3 hours I do not want to write anything else. I do not want to write an email. I can do tweets but that’s about it.
I don’t feel bad, though. Not at all. Writing my novel is what I WANT to do. It’s what I’ve wanted to do for most of my life and while this isn’t the first time I’ve tried, this is the first time I feel like I’m going to finish. (I passed 25,000 words this morning. Most novels are around 80,000-90,000. So I’m getting close to 1/3 way done, but it’s very possible mine will be longer. I know, you’re shocked.)
Maybe once I finish and start editing, writing on my blog will go way up, since I’ll want to do more original and carefree writing. Totally possible. Maybe I’ll be putting up one post a month for the rest of the year while I work on this thing. (My only goal is to have the first draft done by the end of the year. It’s a generous goal, considering my current pace. I want to give myself the time and space to breathe and roll around with it and wrestle with it if I need to.)
So hey, little blog, you’re not unloved or alone. You’ve just moved another rung down the priority ladder. I know you’re used to it.
If you miss my sparkling personality, I still do far too much writing on Twitter.