Once upon a time I was like many of you. I was young, single, full of interesting pursuits and hobbies I cared about. I had opinions and ideas and looked for someone who had a thirst for life and learning. Now I am just living day to day. I can’t list for you the cool places I’ve traveled to. I don’t define myself by strong personal style or taste. I just get by. I care about being honest and connecting to people and being the kind of person other people like having in their lives. I am trying to raise my two young children into competent and confident people with healthy emotional lives. And hopefully I end up sane and alive in the process.
What I’m doing with my life
Treading water. There are days with my kids where it is get up! get ready! try to eat! get everyone dressed! cater to fickle tastes of young children who can’t decide what they want for breakfast! get everyone in car! retrieve toys thrown out of reach of carseats when at stop lights! Get to work, breathe, work,
leave and pick up kids! retrieve toys thrown out of reach of carseats when at stop lights! discuss what we’re having for dinner and no we’re not going to a restaurant and no we’re not having dessert and why must we have this conversation every day?! amuse children with television while dinner is prepared! eat own dinner that resembles that of a poor college student! put on pajamas despite protests that children are not tired enough/too tired to go to bed! get children in bed! put them back in bed when they get up! get water and put them back in bed again!
Oh, and then there are the days when I don’t have my children and I tend to binge watch television, zone out, and gather the strength to clean up several days worth of mess before they come back.
I’m really good at
Um, I used to be really good at lots of things. Now I can’t even sleep in effectively. Can we talk about the things I used to be really good at instead?
I used to be really good at holding my liquor, staying up all night, reading classical literature, watching movies with subtitles and really enjoying them, having strong opinions on politics, aspiring to be a real published author, cooking slightly impressive meals, and remembering things.
Oh, I can say that I am really good at writing a personal blog. And if things really click with us you might have the privilege of being written about on the internet.
The six things I could never do without
Yeah, the thing about this question is that people tend to answer with something like “good friends” or “coffee,” but I’ve learned there are plenty of things I can do without that I didn’t think I could. So let’s do those:
- Staying close to family
- Seeing my kids every day
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I love the idea that I think. I feel like I don’t think much anymore. When I have time to think I tend to try to not think instead. Is that bad?
On a typical Friday night I am
Friday night A) Getting a terrible animated movie from the Redbox with my kids and trying to find a way not to have to cook dinner.
Friday night B) Going on a date if I have one.
Friday night C) No date, no kids, attempt to stay up and watch a serious movie like I used to but instead end up going to bed early.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I don’t really have anything that qualifies. I will admit almost anything to anyone. I have given birth with several people in attendance. I never get to shut doors in my own apartment anymore. My boundaries are basically non-existent.
You should message me if
The fact that I have kids doesn’t freak you out too much. It’s totally okay if it freaks you out some. I mean, they’re kids, right? They’re kind of a huge deal. Even if you already have kids, the idea of someone else’s kids is still a huge deal. And despite all of that, you’re okay with me mentioning that I have kids occasionally and referring to them as something that exists and is part of my life without you feeling terrified.
But really, you should message me if you get that we are all more than what we do and what we like and where we’ve been. If you’re happy to do a little self-discovery together, to get back to some version of yourself you once were or to find parts of yourself you haven’t found yet.
If you don’t define yourself by the places you’ve visited or the jobs you’ve had or the degrees and accolades you’ve received.
Most of all, if you think a smart girl in her mid-30’s with chubby cheeks, curly hair, and glasses who doesn’t have great fashion sense or the greatest track record with dating sounds like a challenge you’re up to accepting.