I am not really one to take part in the back and forth when someone writes something that is popular or mildly controversial and then we all have to have our say about it. But WTH, it’s a holiday weekend. Let’s go crazy.
To The I Won’t Get Divorced Guy
Look, I get what you’re saying. Marriage totally suffers when you have small children. Parenting small children turns some of us into our worst selves and it can feel hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
BUT. “I don’t think couples with small children should be allowed to divorce.” This is a ridiculous thing to say.
If you have more than one kid, the time you spend with small children can be well over 5 years, maybe 10. That is an awfully long time to ask a couple to deal with being miserable. It can be such a long time that it may create a void that can no longer be filled.
I think a better thing to say would be, “Small children are not always small. Things get better.” Or maybe, “I feel you, it’s hard.”
You’re adding to the stigma of divorce, this thing I constantly hear people say that, “People just get divorced like it’s nothing. They don’t even try.” I hate this. Because you have no idea from the outside what is happening inside a relationship or how long it’s been bad. You have no idea how hard it is and what a large burden you take on when you make that decision. People who are not divorced have many opinions on people who are, and it’s kind of like people without kids having opinions on childrearing.
So dude, I know you weren’t trying to be harsh. But what works for you works for you, and doesn’t mean you are now able to tell everyone else how it should be. We can only ever be experts on ourselves and our own families.
To The You Are Not A Single Mom Lady
Thank you for saying something I haven’t been gutsy enough to say publicly. But I think about this a lot. I don’t just think of single moms, I also think of parents who have a partner who’s rarely home due to a job with crazy hours, or one who travels for months at a time, or one who has military service. Parenting alone is rough. I admit I feel a little guilty that I get every other weekend off, that I have an end in sight, albeit a brief one that will be spent mostly recovering.
I know we all have stuff that’s difficult for us, that everyone has their own thing. I had to learn that as a special needs parent and I’m re-learning it as a single parent. But I would never be able to say this. So thank you for taking one for the team.
To The Idiots Who Write Headlines At The Washington Post
Thanks for your scaremongering. That was really awesome of you. Even though your article goes on to talk about how we shouldn’t draw sweeping conclusions, that research shows the vast majority of autistic people are law-abiding (many of them ridiculously so), and all sorts of other reasonable statements, your headline is just bad. And the first 6 paragraphs that throw in Sandy Hook and all that are not much better. Please stop doing this.
Oh, and media in general, stop reporting on preliminary studies. It is not useful information. Maybe read this and give it some thought.
Updated: I found another one!
To The Never Too Busy To Exercise person
So no one is too busy to exercise, eh? It’s just about priorities and habits, eh? My day consists of getting my children ready for the day, taking to their places for the day, going to work, working, leaving work, picking up all the children, getting the children fed, getting the children in bed, and then collapsing into my own bed. I could probably squeeze some exercising somewhere, though on a day when I have the kids the gym or a run is not an option unless I want to feed my kids well past dinner time and then have a ridiculous evening trying to get them to sleep well past bedtime. If I didn’t have kids or if I had a spouse, maybe I’d be sitting here nodding my head and thinking, “Oh, right, I have no excuse.” But yeah, not all of us have that. (I suspected the expert in this piece has no children, and I was correct. I looked it up.)
I like your small steps forward philosophy. But seriously, do not tell me how busy I am. Do not tell me what I have time for.
Okay, that all felt pretty good, I have to say. I think I get why people enjoy arguing about things on the internet.